Copilul Meu

Ecuația coborâtului de la etajul 4 în parcare, cu un toddler și o gravidă în 35 de săptămâni

Într-un bloc care nu are lift (și nici nu va avea vreodată).

O poveste foarte reală care ni se întâmplă în fiecare dimineață și pe care am simțit să o împărtășesc cu voi, mai ales că ieri și azi au venit niște sute de mesaje care mă întrebau dacă am dispărut așa pentru că am născut. Nuuuu, am dispărut așa pentru că sunt mamă gravidă de toddler și asta se pare că îmi ocupă tot timpul.

ETAJUL 4. Also known as ”Momentul în care ne dăm seama că am uitat ceva foarte important acasă, fără de care nu putem trăi”.

Flăcăul își dă brusc seama că și-a uitat acasă excavatorul, pietricica roșie, pălăria (alta decât are deja pe cap), că mai vrea un pahar cu apă rece, că ar mai dori un biscuite, că nu-i place tricoul de pe el pentru că nu are căței sau tocmai pentru că are căței. Deși avem regulă clară cu ”Nu ne întoarcem din drum dacă am plecat de acasă”, recunosc că uneori I choose my battles și ne întoarcem din drum pentru excavator, pietricică, apă rece și un biscuite.

ETAJUL 3. Also known as ”Momentul în care vreau să îmi ucid vecinii care lasă mizerie pe hol”.

Coborârea fără lift la noi în bloc presupune trecerea pe lângă diverse vestigii ale vecinilor: un sac de gunoi mirositor lăsat afară, o sticlă de plastic aruncată, o hârtie mototolită înfiptă lângă geam, o gumă de mestecat lipită pe balustradă. Prilej perfect pentru ca flăcăul să se oprească lângă FIECARE și să mă întrebe, revoltat: ”Dar ce e asta? Dar de ce e lăsată aici? Dar de ce nu au pus-o la gunoi? Dar ce înseamnă gumă de mestecat? Pot să o mestec și eu? Pot să ridic de jos gândacul ăla mort? Hai că îl ridic!”.

ETAJUL 2. Also known as ”Etajul unde vecinul nostru sporti și-a prins mountain bike-ul de balustradă”, deci este esențial să ne oprim și să îl examinăm minim 7 minute în fiecare dimineață. 

Adevărul este că e foarte interesant. Și că deja suntem FOARTE în întârziere. Dar avem un moment Decathlon, deci ce să facem, poposim.

ETAJUL 1. Also known as „Am ceva în adidas, sigur e o pietricică, nu îmi stă bine șoseta, trebuie să ne așezăm aici pe trepte și tu, mami, cu burta ta uriașă, trebuie să mă ajuți să mă descalț și să îmi potrivești bine șosețelele, prilej cu care îmi dau seama că nu îmi place ce șosete am, și NU, treaba asta nu poate aștepta până la mașină”.

PARTER. Also known as ”Momentul în care copilul își dă seama că NU vrea la grădiniță, pentru că vrea să stea acasă cu mami”. 

Se pornesc discuții filosofice despre de ce muncim, ce sunt banii, ce facem cu ei, se fac promisiuni din partea flăcăului că atunci când va crește ca avea o mulțime de bani ca mami să nu mai muncească niciodată, așa să te audă Cel de Sus, fiule, dau acatiste pentru asta, sper să nu uiți.

Mă scuzați că vă întreb așa direct, dar și voi simțiți starea aia de eliberare și ușurare profundă când cei mici sunt în scaunul auto FINALMENTE și voi închideți frumos ușa dinspre ei, ca să mergeți FINALMENTE la volan și să FINALMENTE porniți spre grădiniță?

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